celebrate baby

daddy,

You were in my dream yesterday. You were wearing a white suit. Cliche i know! you come down from heaven to my dreams in a white suit. I was so glad to see you. You came to celebrate with us that i'm pregnant. i was cutting some vegetables or something and i told you that things wouldn't be as good as you are used to (in heaven) but i would make you some food. Then you were gone. i woke up like i was sobbing. i miss you so much. This time will be so hard with out you. Damn i miss you!

You would have been so excited to find out that we were going to have a baby. The Lords timing is so perfect. But i wish you were here daddy. I miss you so much.

brian and i are doing so much better. We are learning to love and respect each other the way we need it. i know this will be a good year for us. the baby comes in November.

Who do you miss the most from your past? : My Dad. It should have been someone else Not him. He should still be here

I just got out some pictures of you. You look so great! i love looking at pictures of you. I like looking at your funny blue jeans you always wore and some terrible polo shirt. I love your hands. They were one of my favorite parts of you. Your smile was always the best too... the biggest in the world. It had to be big enough to show every single one of the teeth in your head. What a great face. I even love your bald spot on your head. Daddy.. where are you? When are you coming back?

I found a picture of you and Dustin when he was a tiny baby... i wish you were here to hold my tiny baby when she comes. I miss you so much daddy. I think of you a lot. Your picture is in with my YMCA card and your old gym card i take with me every time i go to yoga. i always look at this picture of us before i walk in the door it's my little work out ritual. Damn i miss you. There is just no words to describe how i'm really feeling. Where are you? Don't you want to come back?